by: Robert Regler
Parents and caregivers have the largest roles in the development of a child. Depending on how you parent your children will impact how they do in the world. Even when you are not around your child, your parenting will play a huge role in their decision making. Depending on the style, parenting can have a positive impact on a child’s development, or it can make a turn for the worst. If a child grows up in a healthy, nurturing environment; they are more likely to have a successful outcome. However, if they are in a neglectful environment, they are most likely to have a negative outcome. Parenting styles can be broken down into four distinct styles: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved. Each style has their own characteristics and will have different outcomes for the child.
The first style of parenting we will go over is authoritarian. This style takes on the belief that the child should be seen and not heard. This style of parenting will have structure and rules; however, these rules will be strict and rigid. Those who use authoritarian style parenting rarely take the child’s feelings into consideration. When a child questions these rules, the typical answer with this type of parent will be “because I said so.” This style of parenting is problematic because it focuses on obedience rather than compromise and growth. Children who grow up with this style of parenting often focus their
anger toward their parents and might become dishonest in an attempt to avoid the punishment they have become accustomed to.
The second style of parenting is authoritative. This style of parenting can be seen as the parallel to authoritarian because it focuses on maintaining a positive relationship with your child. Rather than making rules and expecting your child to obey, these parents will explain the reasoning behind these rules. Consequences will be present if these rules are broken, however the child’s feelings will be taken into account when they are enforced. In addition, things such as praise and a reward system will be present in order to reinforce desirable behaviors. While they do take many aspects of the child into consideration, the parent is ultimately in charge with this style of parenting. Those who experience this style growing up are more likely to make good decisions and typically experience a greater level of success.
The third style of parenting is permissive parenting. These parents will set rules for their child, but these rules are rarely enforced. They also believe that the child is best off with little interference from the parent. Permissive parents are very lenient and will only step in when there is a major problem. A common phrase these parents will use is “kids will be kids” and play the role of friend rather than a parent. Children who experience this style of parenting are more likely to struggle from a social standpoint and also have a higher risk for health problems. Because their parents do not regularly enforce rules, regulations around junk food consumption are commonly neglected in this type of household.
The final style of parenting is uninvolved parenting. These parents do not ask their children about their schoolwork, rarely know where their child is, and does not spend time with their child. These types of parents typically expect their children to raise themselves and do not pay attention to the basic needs of their youth. Sometimes this is intentional, however some situations like a single parent working multiple jobs can lead to this style of parenting. Children who experience this style of parenting tend to do poorly in school and sometimes will exhibit various behavioral problems.
Out of the four parenting styles mentioned, obviously we want to strive for authoritative. This style of parenting has the greatest chance of a positive outcome and has numerous benefits. Some of the other parenting styles have some aspects that can be positive (like the friendship fostered in permissive parenting), however the children are more likely to experience negative outcomes. Parenting is not easy, and no parent is going to be 100 percent perfect. However, we can always adapt and change different aspects as we see fit. One program the Southwest Council offers that can help with this is the Strengthening Families Program. There you can conversate with other parents on what works for them and what might not have been as successful. If you do want more information about this program, you can visit us at www.SouthwestCouncil.org or email us at info@southwestcouncil.org.
Resources
https://www.verywellfamily.com/types-of-parenting-styles-1095045
https://www.parentingforbrain.com/4-baumrind-parenting-styles/
